SurveyI have suffered regular partner mistreatment
      – BorgClown, 2008-09-06 at 07:20:50   (15 comments)

On 2008-09-06 at 07:24:40, BorgClown wrote...
I was reading a report that indicated that 60% of women and 40% of men have suffered regular mistreatment from their partners, be it physical or emotional. It's appalling the frequency of that behavior, and how the victims justify themselves the bad relation. Can't wrap it around my head that the roughly half of the couples suffer this, seems so abnormal, and yet is normal.
On 2008-09-06 at 07:48:49, Nevermore wrote...
I'm part of that 60% of women.
On 2008-09-06 at 07:51:38, BorgClown wrote...
@Nevermore: I hope it's not physical. Somehow I think the psychological mistreatment is easier to fend off.
On 2008-09-06 at 07:57:38, Nevermore wrote...
I'm not sure why you think emotional abuse is easier to deal with. Sometimes I think I would rather he hurt me with his fists than his words. Of course, if I was being physically abused it might be the other way around.
On 2008-09-06 at 08:00:12, BorgClown wrote...
@Nevermore: Why do you endure it, if I may ask? Maybe there are degrees, and yours is not so bad?
On 2008-09-06 at 08:09:57, Nevermore wrote...
@BorgClown: it comes in phases. I can't seem to do anything right in his eyes, everything that goes wrong is somehow my fault, I'm the world's biggest screw-up. I could be crying, trying to get away from him so I don't hear it, begging him to please stop, I can't take anymore...and he keeps on until he's satisfied. Other times he's kind to me. I think the ups and downs make it worse because if he was mean all the time it would be easy to leave him. I stay because I fear starting over, I fear putting our child through a messy divorce, I fear that no other man will tolerate me because I am not a lovable person.
On 2008-09-06 at 08:13:30, Nevermore wrote...
I wish we could choose to delete our comments.
On 2008-09-06 at 08:20:58, BorgClown wrote...
I wish I could help you some way. If you want, we could mark this opinion as inappropriate to hide it.
On 2008-09-06 at 08:24:48, Nevermore wrote...
@BorgClown: Do it if you want but it's not necessary. I just feel I shared too much. I didn't mean to make it all about me or anything; I hate when I do that.
On 2008-09-06 at 08:28:15, BorgClown wrote...
Sharing is good, it makes you see things clearer. It's a touchy subject and a very personal issue. All I can say is that a honest and well intentioned person cannot be unlovable. I just hate when someone in a lesser position gets bullied.
On 2008-09-07 at 14:08:57, Lee J Haywood wrote...
@Nevermore: You're neither ugly nor boring, so it's unlikely that you're not lovable. I guess the problem is the difficulty of meeting new men when you're already in a relationship and with a child, even if you have the confidence in yourself to move on.
On 2008-09-07 at 19:14:55, Scarletxstarlet wrote...
I agree with Nevermore; it's easier to leave someone who's mean all the time than someone who's nice sometimes and mean at others.
On 2008-09-08 at 04:55:11, BorgClown wrote...
@Scarletxstarlet: That was said in the news report I saw. The victim justifies the mistreatment with the good moments, their age, the stereotype that all men/women are the same, etc. I suppose that is justifiable if the mistreatment is the exception. But in my personal opinion, people who mistreat need psychological help. they seem to be frustrated, with so little conception of themselves, that they get a power trip by making people miserable. And they are cowardly, because they harm the ones who love them more, the ones who probably won't hurt them back.
On 2008-09-08 at 04:57:58, Nevermore wrote...
You're right, borg.
On 2008-09-08 at 05:13:26, BorgClown wrote...
Now that I'm right, I be righteous too!