OpinionIn the dating game, women have the easiest part
      – BorgClown, 2008-11-05 at 23:16:46   (24 comments)

On 2008-11-05 at 23:22:53, BorgClown wrote...
Sure you do girls. Men literally flock to almost any women, you just have to reject enough guys until one you find okay asks. You barely have to deal with rejection, and the effort of being (or apparently being) the most funny/smart/successful guy so far. Worse yet, in our teens we get to meet girls who play with this newly discovered power of seduction, and some of them can get mean for experimentation's sake. On the other hand, maybe women have it bad on their own way. Mother nature is not known to make living things happy, she just cares for reproduction of genes.
On 2008-11-05 at 23:52:25, Lee J Haywood wrote...
It depends a lot on the woman, since you have to remember that some women aren't blessed with good looks and the majority of men are very shallow. Those women that are particularly good looking are equally shallow, however - saving themselves for the best looking men. In general, women probably underrate themselves (e.g. spend too much time comparing with other women) but the whole thing is difficult simply because you never know what the other person is looking for.
On 2008-11-06 at 00:44:52, BorgClown wrote...
Men compete with men, and women with women. In the midst of all that competition we're trying to find love and happiness.Damn you natural selection!
On 2008-11-06 at 07:29:15, RoryMc wrote...
Agree. If a chick goes out and wants to get a guys attention she just says, "Who wants some?" If a dude says that, he's taking home the dirtiest, ugliest piece of ass in town.
On 2008-11-06 at 08:31:23, Lee J Haywood wrote...
Except that there are 2 types of people - those who aren't picky about their partners and will have as many as they can get, and those who are more discerning and have just one or two partners. It's true that an attractive woman can have a lot of partners, but she's not going to succeed with a picky man who knows that her personality is lacking. And the reverse is true - if a man is shallow, he won't bother with the less attractive women even if he's interested in multiple partners.
On 2008-11-06 at 22:14:02, BorgClown wrote...
If a shallow woman sexually harasses a picky man, I'm sure he'll at least consider the possibility of casual sex.
On 2008-11-06 at 22:38:10, Lee J Haywood wrote...
Even if you consider it, it's not that likely to actually happen - there's a lot of risk in getting involved with someone with that sort of personality. Thinking about it, if you're picky then perhaps you're less likely to be a risk-taker as well. Alcohol can overcome pickiness fairly effectively, but that doesn't really count.
On 2008-11-06 at 23:03:04, BorgClown wrote...
Only if you're picky because you're afraid of trouble. If you have confidence in your ability to clearly show that it's just casual sex, I don't see great risk. Of course all this is single-talk. cheaters are an entirely different topic.
On 2008-11-06 at 23:09:36, Lee J Haywood wrote...
I suppose I'm thinking of the choice to try and have an actual relationship first, but you're right that an opportunity could arise where this requirement is put aside. But you still have disease and pregnancy risks to think about.
On 2008-11-06 at 23:24:44, BorgClown wrote...
A relationship can happen because of sex, it's not always the other way around. One has to be careful and enjoy, and don't deny oneself opportunities based on assumptions. Love is one of the weirdest concepts in this world.
On 2008-11-06 at 23:42:16, Lee J Haywood wrote...
It'd be nice to have friendship and communication first, then the relationship, etc. later, but you're right that overanalysing things can prevent you from taking chances that lead to success.
On 2008-11-06 at 23:51:53, BorgClown wrote...
Hell I am. You can't regulate it, it lives in the wrong hemisphere of your brain for that.
On 2008-11-07 at 02:33:55, Nevermore wrote...
Yeah, we really do.
On 2008-11-07 at 18:10:39, BorgClown wrote...
Wha??!! I was expecting a rebuttal by the first female who read this topic.
On 2008-11-08 at 06:34:30, Nevermore wrote...
No complaints from me. All I know is I've never had to ask a guy out, and I don't even consider myself to be that attractive. Women just aren't expected to be the aggressive ones, and some man will always find you attractive, so yeah. It's easier for us, a lot of the time anyway.
On 2008-11-08 at 06:53:51, BorgClown wrote...
Well, we agreed. Dating for women is easy. Come to think of it, dating is the easiest part, compared to what comes later.
On 2008-11-08 at 10:51:00, Lee J Haywood wrote...
I'd be unlikely to ask a woman out without first getting to know her enough to think that she's interested. But then I'm fairly blind to these signs, so that hardly ever happens. Of course, if woman wants to be asked out there has to be some effort on her part to demonstrate interest, otherwise she'll end up with the first person who asks her out even if he's substandard.
On 2008-11-08 at 23:54:38, BorgClown wrote...
They do give hints, but that doesn't help with people who don't get subtlety, he might think that she's just friendly or polite. But that's why I stated that men get the worse part of the dating, we have to gather the courage to ask someone out, and swallow up the possible rejections. And try again. For some guys it comes naturally, but us mere mortals need to follow the stranger-friend-girlfriend process, otherwise we'd become insane.
On 2008-11-09 at 08:43:23, Lee J Haywood wrote...
The latter process has an extremely low success rate, I've found. You have to remember that for every woman asked out there's a man doing the asking, so if women aren't helping then some will lose out and those who do get asked are being asked by men who are likely to have many previous partners. It's a shame that there isn't more effort put into real-world matchmaking, e.g. the nTAG - http://space.newscientist.com/article/dn4371 - because although there's always the networking method (asking friends/family to actively seek potentials for you), that only works if you have good friends and family.
On 2008-11-10 at 03:00:20, BorgClown wrote...
Than nTAG idea is interesting. You'd think having common interests and activities would raise the success rate. But physical attraction plays a great role in dating. Otherwise, the dating sites would have solved the problem already.
On 2008-11-10 at 03:00:51, BorgClown wrote...
Gosh, too.many.periods in my last comment.
On 2008-11-10 at 08:50:49, Lee J Haywood wrote...
It'd work as a conversation starter, but I've been meeting a lot of people recently and nothing is more obvious than that it takes a long time to become comfortable enough with someone to call them a genuine friend.
On 2008-12-17 at 16:48:10, Scarletxstarlet wrote...
We have the cheaper part, that's for sure. And we are not expected to make an effort. BUT I would like to point out the psychological consequences of being judged on your desirability. Guys who are playing the game are not deemed worthless when they lose. In fact, many people think they are more desirable (everyone admires a successful life-long bachelor). But women have to win or risk being considered inferior. So I would say the stakes are a little higher.
On 2008-12-17 at 17:01:02, Lee J Haywood wrote...
I think that women are certainly more at risk of being judged harshly by their female peers, but we both have insecurities about our desirability - reinforced by any failures we endure.