OpinionThe bible could be easily improved.
      – Korinthian, 2008-09-09 at 03:34:52   (38 comments)

On 2008-09-09 at 03:35:15, Korinthian wrote...
First of all, get rid of the old testament. No christians admit to believing much of it anyways.
On 2008-09-09 at 03:41:54, BorgClown wrote...
Best improvement ever: Call it "The Bible: A collection of fables". I hope the Pope is reading this =P
On 2008-09-09 at 04:11:42, Patofeo wrote...
@BorgClown: fables require talking animals. I'd be down with a little editing
On 2008-09-09 at 04:15:08, BorgClown wrote...
@Patofeo: I wish I had an animal name too.
On 2008-09-09 at 04:15:17, BorgClown wrote...
Do mimes count as animals?
On 2008-09-09 at 04:16:37, Patofeo wrote...
@BorgClown: I'll vouch for you. Mimes are somewhere between roaches and earthworms ;)
On 2008-09-09 at 04:17:47, BorgClown wrote...
@Patofeo: What about clowns? They gotta be above ducks, ducks aren't funny.
On 2008-09-09 at 04:18:33, Korinthian wrote...
Fables don't have to include talking animals. The word fable can refer to the bible as well. Also it has a talking snake in it.
On 2008-09-09 at 04:18:43, Patofeo wrote...
@BorgClown: touché my non-feathery friend
On 2008-09-09 at 04:23:42, BorgClown wrote...
Besides the snake, I can't recall more Biblical talking animals. But somehow I think I've seen more there.
On 2008-09-09 at 04:24:51, Korinthian wrote...
@BorgClown: Well, there is that talking bush..
On 2008-09-09 at 04:25:22, Korinthian wrote...
And if I remember correctly, the swine that were possessed by legion talked.
On 2008-09-09 at 04:29:45, BorgClown wrote...
@Korinthian: The swine ring a bell here too.
On 2008-09-09 at 06:06:47, RudystillRules wrote...
I like Mad Tv's and Kevin Smith's versions. Make Jesus badass. No god should be such a hippie wuss.
On 2008-09-09 at 06:14:20, Nevermore wrote...
I like hippie Jesus.
On 2008-09-09 at 06:42:43, Patofeo wrote...
@RudystillRules: reminds me of "Passion of the Christ II: Crucify This!" http://www.jibjab.com/view/136386
On 2008-09-09 at 16:10:05, BorgClown wrote...
@Patofeo: I liked the cross gun.
On 2008-09-09 at 17:20:53, Scarletxstarlet wrote...
There should be more jokes.
On 2008-09-09 at 19:19:08, Bensci wrote...
@Korinthian: actually the Old Testament is really quite important, and most Christians believe in it.
On 2008-09-09 at 22:42:22, Korinthian wrote...
@Bensci: Yeah, I know what you are saying, but when you start taking to a christian about the things that are actually in the OT, then all you get are apologies and comments about how the NT is the important one anyways.
On 2008-09-09 at 22:42:59, Korinthian wrote...
@Scarletxstarlet: More of them?
On 2008-09-09 at 22:57:13, BorgClown wrote...
@Korinthian: Jesus could have been the original Seinfeld. Judas can be Constanza.
On 2008-09-09 at 23:08:40, Korinthian wrote...
@BorgClown: The devil must be Kramer, barging in at all times, fucking things up.
On 2008-09-09 at 23:22:01, BorgClown wrote...
@Korinthian: And Lorraine should be Mary Magdalene.
On 2008-09-09 at 23:23:37, Korinthian wrote...
@BorgClown: God-> the soup nazi.
On 2008-09-09 at 23:26:49, Korinthian wrote...
"No first-born sons for you!"
On 2008-09-09 at 23:29:53, BorgClown wrote...
@Korinthian: Em. I meant Elaine, not Lorraine (BTTF). And behold, the early years of Christ: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8YR9IBGSOik
On 2008-09-09 at 23:35:09, BorgClown wrote...
@Korinthian: Oi, great character that guy. Didn't know him. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soup_Nazi
On 2008-09-09 at 23:36:11, Korinthian wrote...
@BorgClown: Yikes. You managed to miss him?
On 2008-09-09 at 23:41:26, BorgClown wrote...
@Korinthian: I did. And I have watched sleepless in Seattle, where they mention the guy.
On 2008-09-09 at 23:55:18, BorgClown wrote...
Since they have TX locations, I gotta eat here some time: http://www.originalsoupman.com
On 2008-09-09 at 23:58:51, Korinthian wrote...
@BorgClown: Now that's just souper! Is he what inspired Seinfeld/David?
On 2008-09-10 at 00:00:57, BorgClown wrote...
According to the WP article, he is. They actually ate with him, although with another name.
On 2008-09-12 at 05:47:05, Korinthian wrote...
Jesus could have said "torture is bad" and "don't enslave people". Or how about "don't give money to the church"? Maybe "don't pray out in the open" ... oh, wait...
On 2008-09-12 at 05:59:48, Nevermore wrote...
@Korinthian: it probably wouldn't matter, anyway. They would just ignore certain parts and follow the ones that suit them best, like they do now.
On 2008-09-12 at 06:16:25, Korinthian wrote...
@Nevermore: Not if you made the book super short, and with pictures so they'd understand.
On 2008-09-12 at 06:17:24, Nevermore wrote...
@Korinthian: and large font.
On 2008-09-12 at 15:32:17, BorgClown wrote...
I was going to suggest pop-out figures, but maybe godfans would divide about it.